so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
