Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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