We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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