So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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