idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
