Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
sarcasm needs its own font
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
