don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
