you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We are two peas in an std pod
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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