Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
