we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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