$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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