you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
