How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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