i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
