he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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