Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
