Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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