I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Randomize
