So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
