did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
