she woke up with a sticky ear
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
