Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
