I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
