i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Operation Purity has been aborted
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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