Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
