cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
My life is pants optional.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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