I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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