..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
