she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
