Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
