i was rollin on her like bob the builder
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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