yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
