I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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