I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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