A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
