My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
are you so shy because you have an std?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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