I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
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