hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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