I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
