I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
