Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
