a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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