If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Operation Purity has been aborted
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
