There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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