As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
