Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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