I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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