why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
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