So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
