I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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