soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
