He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize