Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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