I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize