pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
