just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize