Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
