I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
