So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
