So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
