So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
