i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
