Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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