...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
