Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
