You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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