just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
BRING THE BAGELS
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
