Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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