I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize