yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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